I Frickin' Love Your Wedding

As a child, I was never one to dream about weddings. There was no secret hope chest or promises of bridesmaidship to the gals at the lunch table. I wasn't opposed to marriage in general - my Barbie dolls had more relationships than Fleetwood Mac and got remarried every other day - just wasn't interested in it for myself. Fast forward many years, and there's still no fantasies brewing or elaborate Pinterest boards lurking, BUT, without even a slightest bit of sarcasm, I can honestly say:

I frickin' love your wedding.

To be clear: I'm not obsessed with weddings in general. Just yours. Nuptials for a stranger? Pfft, don't care much, just a party. But your wedding, my dear friend... oh, what a treat!

Seriously. It does bring us all together.

When it comes to your wedding, there are a few things I want you to know:

1. This ain't my first rodeo. Having attended 28 weddings in a span of seven years* (a four-time bridesmaid), I've seen many things. They've been at bars, in backyards, at country clubs, on a mountain, and everywhere in between. Each one holds a special place in my heart and is uniquely its own. No two are the same and each shows the flare specific to the couple. The only thing in common: a whole lot of love. Love is like oxygen, dude; I need it to live. May I be lucky enough to be in attendance for a million more "I do's." 
2. Reach out and I'll be there. Contributing in some way or making you less stressed, it's all I want. You've invited me to be a part of your special day, and I'm going to make it as amazing as possible. Give me a glue gun or a guest list, and let's get to work! If you want to get married on the damn moon, I'll build a rocket ship and get there (early, so I get a good seat). 
3. I want it all. Every detail. I want to know every little detail. Really, I do. From flowers to footwear. The whole process of picking the venue, the photographer, the DJ, the wedding party, the hashtag. The engagement story and the full aftermath. The look of your new signature (if you're changing your name at all that is - #bosslady). All the Pinterest projects you plan to undertake and every DIY that ends up going to hell or falling to the wayside as the big day approaches. Every scuffle related to the seating arrangement or guest list, every minor meltdown, every tiff between you and your mom. I live for the drama. I drink that shit right up and am genuinely interested when I'm asking about your nuptials. 
4. I'm gathering intel. Those details? I'm internalizing them to offer as guidance to future brides. And to judge others against (because yes, we all do that). Plus, someday, if I have to go through the madness myself, I'll have the benefit of all the chaotic wisdom from hordes of brides and grooms in my back pocket to remind myself what to avoid and what magic works best.
5. This gal is a sucker for traditions. Popping bows and popping babies at the bridal shower. Awkward dollar dances and post-ceremony receiving lines. Grand marches. Tinking glass. Old, new, borrowed blue. First dances. First looks. First cake-to-the-face. Your grandma's veil and your mama's pearls... oh my heart! Sure, a lot of traditions are total malarkey,** but that doesn't mean they aren't fun. And, yes, I will ask all about them in advance - before some extended family member who's hellbent on them harasses you first.
6. Backup photographer, right here. Because damn you're gorgeous, and I just can't help it. You'll see the photos by the time your five year anniversary hits... probably.



Your bridesmaids are wearing chucks and sandals?!
STOP! I LOVE it! Let me take 50 photos and insta-hashtag them!

7. Your family is my family. Mother of the bride? My BFF. Crazy auntie so-and-so? She and I just did shots. Cousin whoever? We're in the photobooth. Groom's dad? I wrote his toast and handed him a hanky while he read it. On this day, we're all family.
8. Your friends are my friends. Yeah, I'm totally cool sitting at your childhood friend table (this was my most valuable asset for years as a typically solo attendee - easy filler for table gaps). Hearing  tales of your misadventures from a time when I didn't know you is a fantastic window into how you became who you are. Not one of us have the exact same moments / stories with the happy couple, but we all got picked to be at their wedding. We all merited being a part of their lives. So I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours. 
9. There will be tears. Odds are, I will cry. Like a baby. It's not going to be dainty; it will likely be loud. The sight of the groom when he sees his bride the first time, the hug and awkward handshake as the dad "hands over" his daughter, the cracking voices as the couple tries to keep it together during their vows - I weep. I am a major weeper. Niagara Falls, Frankie angel. (Which is why I have so many movie quote gifs about crying on hand - just in case.) And yes, I did bring tissues. Oodles of them.
10. I'll be at the bar. The bartender and I are bound to be friends. I'm sorry in advance if you've declared an open bar. You knew the crowd of hooligans you invited, so just grab a drink and I'll meet you on the dance floor (the Electric Slide is playing, and my dancing shoes are ready to go). Promise not to be as drunk as your mom. 
11. Your wedding day is frickin' MAGIC. When we're young, we get the spotlight all the time. The older we get, the fewer moments we have a light shine on just us. At your wedding, you get that light. Shine on, you happy couple. Shine brighter than that diamond on your hand! On your big day, I want you to feel special and unique like the little snowflake that you are. This moment is YOURS. Anyone who tries to make it anything less than magical, I will happily take out back for you. Ain't nobody got time for naysayers when you're checking off milestones! You go dance your face off and talk to whoever you want, throw obligation to the wind and you just enjoy. If you're doing it right, you only get one go at it! 

More than anything, I want you to know that my love for you doesn't stop after the vows are said. You may have a new person legally bound to love you, but I'll be waving around in the background, throwing glitter at your life for years to come. (You can't get rid of me just because you got married; sorry, friends! From this point on, I just have to fight harder for your attention is all.) The ceremony itself is just a representation of a commitment. A commitment for two people to care for one another, and a commitment of all witnessing to support the couple as they grow together. The ceremony is the fun part; the marriage is the hard work part.  And I'm in it to win it for both. So when you come back home from the honeymoon, and life kicks back in after the year of nonstop planning, and the magical wedding happiness bubble pops a bit... just give me a call. I'll be ready to hit up happy hour with you to figure out where to go next.



* My heart is breaking in advance for the time that this wedding train slows down. Baby showers just aren't as much fun. ALSO, for those whose weddings I could not attend (I think there were three of you), due to scheduling conflicts, travel restrictions, etc. - I'm sorry, I'm the worst. Please can we have a re-do? You can re-wear your finery (I know you have that dress in the box in a closest somewhere), and I'll get drunk and cry and tell you how happy I am for you and give you presents. It'll be fantastic!
** GAH! My world is shattered, I always thought it was "balarkey" not "malarkey" - been saying that one wrong for years!