I'll Huff and I'll Puff

People spend a lot of time trying to "figure out" who they are. It takes years of self reflection, of growing and nurturing values, etc. and some people still feel like they don't quite understand their purpose or fully "know" themselves. Over the past few years, it's become pretty clear to me who I am. And honestly, I've come to terms with it. Maybe I knew all along. The straight fact, that I may indeed be... a Hufflepuff.

Sure, I initially fought it. Not just because yellow isn't my color, and people think of Hufflepuffs as total duffers, but mostly because I always felt Ravenclaw was a better place for me. Not saying I don't still have Claw tendencies, but upon reflection, the Puff is more clearly my bag.

Before I jump into some Huffle-gushing, let's lay out some quick canon, as spoken by the Sorting Hat, about the core qualities of each house (rhetoric compiled from various sortings), for those of you who may not recall (why are we friends again? #jokesnotjokes):

Gryffindor: bold from wild moor: brave at heart, daring, nerve, and chivalry; value the bravest; teach those with brave deeds to their name; want the bravest / boldest
Slytherin: shrewd from fen: cunning folks, use any means to achieve their ends; value great ambition (power-hungry); teach those whose ancestry's purest; want pure-blood wizards of great cunning
Ravenclaw: fair from glen: wise, ready minded, wit and learning; value the cleverest; teach those whose intelligence is surest; want those of sharpest mind
Hufflepuff: sweet from valley broad: just and loyal, patient, true, unafraid of toil; value hard workers; teach the lot and treat them just the same; want the rest 

Here's why I don't cut it for the others:

• So for Gryffindor, we've got the show-boaters. Not it. Also, the most daring thing I've done all week is drill a hole in the wall to mount a hook for my coat - in a rental! (Yeah, that's right, take THAT security deposit!) Basically, the only reason I could be a Gryf is because I look great in maroon.
• Slytherin is a bunch of assholes. Elitist (maybe racist is a better term?) jerks who would sell their own mother to get ahead. Sure, I've got my share of ambitions, but not at the expense of others. Cunning I can pull off, but only like, to get a student discount at the movie theater, so definitely not ruthless enough to be a Slyth. 
• In my youth, I was definitely a Ravenclaw. Studious little straight A student, witty AF (read: snark) and eager to soak up more knowledge. Then I got booted out of academia and into the real world (via graduation) and realized that maybe intelligence wasn't the only factor that could get one ahead, and in fact, being smart actually just pissed people off. Yes, I still love learning, and witty banter is my fave pastime, but you can't just be half-ass Claw. Plus, the other day I accidentally cleaned my stove with bug repellent because I couldn't be bothered to read the bottle, so... that may be an automatic DQ from this house.

Which brings me back to my Puffdom. Originally, I wrote up a bunch about this, but it sounded pretty cocky, so I deleted 90% of it. We Puffs are a modest bunch.

• Hard working and unafraid of toil: As children, my dad used to have us shovel rocks and dig trenches - we grew up working. My summer job to pay for college was hard manual labor (as a BAMF custodian). All those late nights in the library while at university - I worked my tail off (you can even look, it's not there anymore, I worked it all the way off). Long hours I can do, if there's a job needs doing.
• Loyal, patient, true: Need me? I'll be there. Basically, if there's anything I can do to make sure that someone else has an easier/better time of life, I'll try and do it. And I won't sit around expecting something in return. This gal, has your back, through thick and thin... always. *insert still-not-over-it-single-Snape-tear here*
• Just and treats everyone equally: Everyone deserves a chance; we Puffs don't discriminate. Fairness and free hugs for all. We'll patiently work together to achieve betterment for the team, not just ourselves. As headmaster Zefron once said, "We're all in this together."

Hufflepuff problems, amirite??

Also, just to disparage some of the Huffle-haters. Here's a couple little tidbits on why, it turns out, Hufflepuff is a pretty stellar house after all:

• The Battle of Hogwarts - Slytherins cleared out, so did most of the Ravenclaws. The reckless Gryffindors (of course) decided to stick around, but you know who else did, too? That's right, the Hufflepuffs. Why? Because Puffs are always ready to roll up their sleeves and get the job done. We're loyal to you and we're going to throw down when shit gets real. We're not just fair-weather fans. Like, have you ever SEEN a pissed off badger? It'll frickin' rip your face off.
• The common room - it's in the same hallway as the Hogwarts kitchens. 'Nuff said.
• Quidditch - remember that match where Hufflepuff beat Gryffindor, 150 to 50? Sure, it was because clumsy Gryf seeker Harry Potter fell off his broom (okay, it was because of a Dementor attack), but Puffs still won. And even though they won fair and square, they still graciously offered to play a rematch, just to make sure the Gryffs didn't feel they'd been mistreated. We're just that damn nice. (Three years later, when HP couldn't stay on his broom again, we just whooped their butts - we may not be the star athletes of Hogwarts, but we'll take a victory when we can!)
• Noteable Puffs - They include: Tonks, total badass kween; C. Diggory, total spare, but arguably easy on the eyes; Professor Sprout, everyone's fave frumpy prof whose garden could kill you; Newt Scamander, mister "I seem to have misplaced my magical creatures" himself; the Fat Friar, who didn't let death stop him from drinking and having a good time.
• Also, as you know, Hufflepuffs are particularly good FINDERS. (Find!)
• The Badger - our house spirit animal.* Often underestimated, because they're pretty chill and hang out in their burrows underground (probs why we're so good at Herbology, earthy and whatnot). It's well known that honey badger (in particular) don't give a shit. Honey badger does all the work and the others just pick up the scraps.** How typical.  But if you do something to piss it off, or threaten it's fellow badgers, it will take. you. down. (Go Youtube "Badger attack") A fierce friend, the badger, just like we Puffs.
• HP - maybe it doesn't stand for Harry Potter, but instead... HufflePuff? Yeah. Sit on that one for a minute. Let it marinate. 

Sure, in our lame muggle version of the "real world," there is no Sorting Hat to tell us it's okay to be a certain way. We don't get to act like a cutthroat asshole, push someone off their broom, just shrug and say, "Sorry, I'm a Slytherin, that's how we do," and everyone's just like, "OH, okay, makes total sense. Carry on." Instead, we have to make our own magic, and decide who we want to be all on our own. Figuring it out does feel pretty darn rewarding though... Ten (adult) points for Hufflepuff!




* Muggle-born guitarist Brian May of Queen (who we all know is actually a wizard) has even spent time defending the majestic badger. Clearly, we Hufflepuffs have the right kind of allies.
** Note how in that video there is both a a bird and a snake (Ravenclaw? Slytherin?) that try to take advantage of the badger; one gets scraps, the other gets scrapped. Bam, baby!
*** In case you wondered if there is an elaborately choreographed Lady Gaga parody regarding Hufflepuff, well, there is. Put your badger paws up; you won't be able to unsee it.