Going to the Chapel... Or Some Variation Thereof

Now that I'm coming through the other side of my initial post-engagement-nervous-breakdown, and am receiving epic volumes of (often unsolicited) advice on the daily, I've settled on a few things. A few wedding and marriage related "this is how it's going down" things. Some of these may well get abandoned over time, but right now I'm feeling pretty certain about them. And since y'all know how I love to field questions in bulk, here are some answers to a variety of FAQs. You can decide what the questions were, and determine whether or not you think they were invasive or just in good fun....

1. Nope, we don't have a date picked yet.
2. Why yes, I do plan to lose weight for the wedding... because I've been treating my body less like a "temple" and more like a dumpster with broken wheels. A stationary thing you dump garbage into. It's not for the dress - it's for me. I'm a firm believer that one of the essential things you're committing to in a marriage is living as long as possible. You've signed up til death you do part, and you better work your ass off to make that you last as long as you can on this good earth to do your part of fulfilling that vow. So, as I jump into this new role as a wife, I'd like to do it in peak condition, and show up properly for this thing. Hopefully this whole "better eating and exercising" thing will become a trend, so our marriage can be less "in sickness" and more "in health."*
3. I know, you're right. I AM a wedding crier. And yes, I'll probably be a hot sobbing mess at mine, just like I was at everyone else's. Because I frickin' love weddings, and they make my heart feel overwhelmed with joy, and that joy leaks violently out of my face.** Have tissues at the ready, please and thanks.
4. No, I don't have a Pinterest board, so I can't share a link. No vision board either. You'll just have to trust me when I say that this'll all turn out just fine, and that people got married before the internet existed. 
5. Yep, DIY is happening. Why? Not because we can't afford certain things (#blessed), but because I'm a thrifty bitch and probably won't want to afford certain things. We all know that if you tag the word "wedding" on to just about anything, the world sees emotional dollar signs and jacks the price up tenfold. So, because I love sticking it to the man, I'll be trying to win this game as much as possible. Also, I like crafting. And since I'm usually a ball of anxiety, I'll need something to distract me and keep my nerves ocupado. I'm expecting a lot more DIT than DIY to be honest - doing it together... over cocktails.
6. Not getting married in a church, nope.*** 
7. Sorry, yeah, no date picked yet. Not even a particular season in mind, nope. It all depends on the venue availability. 
8. That's correct, we're paying for the wedding ourselves. We're lucky enough to be getting married at an age where we're financially stable. We've worked hard to pay off all our debts and to save up. And now we're going to take that savings and chuck it at a big ass party. Because we want to. And we can. And, to be honest, there aren't many excuses to gather literally everyone you love into one space - it's usually just weddings and funerals. And the latter isn't very much fun. So, we're happy to spend the money to fill a space with people we love, to celebrate happiness.
9. No, my ring isn't loose or needing to be resized. I already resized it. My hands are just cold. Really, I'm happy with the sizing, I promise. 
10. The wedding will definitely be in Milwaukee. Milwaukee is "us" - it's where we met, it's where we live together, it's where "me" became "we." We want it to be a day of us. 
11. Old, new, borrowed, blue? Yeah, I'll probably try to do that, but haven't though much on it yet, to be honest. Times like these, I wish I did have a hope chest lying around somewhere. 



Do these dollar store decorations count as new and blue??

12. Thank you so much for sharing that advice. It's been wonderful to hear so many different approaches for how to go about (insert wedding element here). We'll be taking all this into consideration as we decide. Super grateful to have a community of people who care and want to help.... ((Except, we do get the final say on all decisions. And that might mean not following  your advice later. Please don't secretly hate us. We still value your opinion. We're doing our best here.))
13. Yes, we're getting a prenup. Not because we don't believe our marriage will last, but because we're children of divorce and want to protect each other from our future selves. (Future Gina is a real diva, I hear.)
14. Really, truly, I wish I could tell you the date, but we haven't picked it yet. Nope, it's not just throwing a dart at a board. Yep, most venues are booked out to 2020. Crazy, I know. So yeah, honestly, I don't have a date for you. 
15. I will be taking his last name. No chance of that not happening. 
16. Sorry no, we haven't finalized our guest list yet (we've only been engaged like a month...). We're very fortunate to have so many wonderful people in our lives, who've each had a big impact on us in their own way; but, we will have a limited amount of space for this shindig. We won't be able to have everyone physically present that day. ((So again, please don't secretly / openly hate us -- we'd love to have every single person there if we could. But we can't.)) 
17. How many people are we inviting? See previous answer. In summary: a bunch, but not nearly enough. 
18. No, I'm not pregnant. Yes, I haven't been pushy about getting married previously, and now suddenly I'm engaged. It really wasn't all that sudden though. This isn't a shotgun wedding. (KNOCK ON WOOD)
19. Yes, there could potentially be a rabbi. We'll definitely have a chuppah and will be smashing a glass (though I'm still terribly disappointed that I personally don't get to be the one to stomp it, blah blah traditions). And the odds of us getting hoisted up on chairs and dancing the horah at some point are alarmingly high. So, get on board and work on your upper body strength, because I don't want to get dropped. 
20. Nope, our colors aren't baby blue and safety orange. Quit listening to my fiancé, he's just messing with you.
21. OH yeah, I've definitely considered doing a white pantsuit. You KNOW how I feel about pantsuits. I would love to pull that off, but I probably won't.... probably. 
22. Sigh. No, we don't have a date yet.

If at any point in the next twelve to eighteen months, you hear my tone shifting between jovial, bitchy, forceful, downright giddy, etc... it's because I really am stupid excited to be doing this whole wedding thing. But, I really do feel awful when I don't have answers for people. Or when I just don't have time to dive into it. Or when the answers I give are clearly something that seems disappointing or wrong to the person asking. Please know this: I love that you care enough to ask. And I love talking about this stuff. And I know that this is really like my one chance to just strut around being bridey and spewing taffeta out of my palms like Spiderman does with webs (spew spew!), but to be honest, I'm just trying to do my best to make sure everyone is happy and that at the end of this all, the beau still wants to walk down that aisle with me... or some variation thereof. As long as we end up married, it'll be the best day ever.

If face masks are the key to a practical wedding, I'm on board. 
Pass the frickin' avocados! 

* And yeah, of course I want to look good in the dress, too. I'm not a fucking monster.
** For the record, the titular song of this post, Going to the Chapel, makes me bawl like a baby. In the mountains of Colorado, myself and the other bridesmaids piled into a van, lovingly driven by my dear friend's brother-in-law. It was her big day, and we were on our way, and he popped on that song as a ha-ha-how-perfect tune, and I promptly started tearing up, because my girl was getting married. She'd found the love of her life and I was so happy for her, and so sad for me because that meant our relationship would forever be altered as well. AKA I was a glass case of emotion. Still am. To this day. Because their happiness makes my little heart explode. 
*** Though I'd love to just take photos in a cathedral, but you know, that dream can die.