The Patio Paradox

Let's talk patios.

When looking for a place to live, patios tend to fall on the "nice to have" list... at first. Then, the longer you look, the more it becomes an essential component. Like the dishwasher you don't really need or the walk-in closet you know you deserve (mostly because you've run out of space for your clothes and refuse to part with any - they're like your children). But that patio. That you need.

Where else are you going to put your grill? You know, the one you'll buy specifically to put on your new patio. The one you'll get yelled at for because it's not compliment with some building rule, but that you'll sneakily use anyways. You need that for grilling out when you have friends over! On those summer nights when y'all have had a hard day at the office and want some brats and brews. It's a scenario you can perfectly picture. There will be music and good times had by all.

Then there's the furniture. It is literally designed just for the patio. For your patio. You need at least two cute chairs and a table, depending on size. The table will hold your grilled food and cocktails while you sit back and enjoy being outdoors-at-home. It will be just like all the sitcoms. You'll do all the things and make all the plans.

When not being used for meals, booze, or entertaining, it will be a space for quiet reflection. A spot to have your morning tea, and maybe crack a book. A spot to enjoy nature and reflect. Maybe get a little of the vitamin D to get ya through the day. It will be a place to reset.

Put those feet up, you deserve it!

The reality though is usually stupidly different. You use the grill twice, and realize that cleaning it is a pain and you really don't understand propane tanks / charcoal. You don't invite people over because you're exhausted after work, and everyone is busy in the summer months. The cute furniture? Yeah, well, you saw a spider on it once, so now you basically have to light it on fire and destroy it, which, you'll do... once it finally dries off from last week's rain storm. As for the morning, it's still dewy out, so it's not that warm. And getting up earlier than you absolutely need to, well, it's just torture. And heaven forbid you need to re-stain, paint, or otherwise do maintenance on the thing, it'll be out of commission for at least a year. Plus, keep in mind, in Wisconsin, you only have four to six good months to comfortably use it even.

So, there it sits, your patio that you love to tell people about, but that you neglect to enjoy.

That being said, here I am. Enjoying someone else's porch, sitting out, enjoying my cocoa and casually watching the squirrel battle royale in the nearby tree. I woke up hours before my gal-pals (we finally found a night to gather!), dug through the cupboard to find the most bitching-awesome mug I could, and settled into a deck chair. It's probably because I don't have one of my own that the novelty isn't lost yet. Which brings me to the point... don't ever let me get a patio, friends, because then it will lose the shine. That or I'll become a total alcoholic, because we all know patio drinking really is the best. So, save me from myself. Thanks in advance.

Got the world on a string, sippin' on a rainbow!