New Year, New List

It's 2019. The last teens I'll see in my lifetime. And instead of pretending that I was motivated at the start of January, I'll be honest and say: I knew I wasn't. So I instead plotted out my goals to 'begin' later. (Why try and force yourself to fail - amirite?)

For the past several years, I've done a little kick off to the year with some overall bits of resolve. No point in letting old habits die now, eh? So here are some of the things I'm aiming for in the next eleven.

1. Hydrate: This is always high on my list. Nothing has changed. I need to do better.
2. Pinch those pennies: Mercifully, I'm debt free, and haven't had to budget too closely for the past few years. But it's time to crack down a bit to save for upcoming expenses. Just to get more of a surplus, since currently I don't have a route to make additional income.*
3. Nip that waistline: Must eat better. Must be more active. It's not that hard, I just need to properly focus and get into it.
4. Unfunk the funk: The winter blues, man, they get me. 
5. Hug the planet : It needs a little TLC. I need to make more little changes to help out with that big old problem of our world going to shit. Finally remembering reusable bags at the grocery store. Walking to work once it's warm out instead of driving. Trying to create less waste in general. One thing I already did: sent an email to several organizations (ones who I've donated to in the past who continue to send me paper mail all the time) and asked to be taken off physical mailing lists and instead be put to email lists - that saves them money and saves ink/paper/time for all.... Basically: we can all do better. We need to do better. There's no excuse to not try and do better.
6. Beauty routine: Besides the whole hydrate/exercise/eat better, getting on a better routine involving vitamins, face masks, fancy shampoo, and figuring out what the hell one is supposed to do with cuticles anyways. For Christmas, I also got one of those fancy rose quartz face rollers - and while I don't believe in the crystal flimflam, I'm all about destressing and depuffing! I've been lucky enough to have good skin, hair, health (mostly), etc. so time to double down and keep it that way. (Off to a good start on this one!)
7. Revel in it: You don't get many chances to plan a big event like a wedding (knock on wood). So I need to make sure to not stress, and just enjoy it - because I really do love this shit. And, I'd dare to say that I'm pretty good at it. 
8. Blue light special: Started this last year but fell out of practice over time. Will go back to doing no screens (TV, phone, laptop, etc.) after 9:30 pm. Back to book reading, general relaxing, etc. Also need to keep my Instagramming averaging under 45 minutes a day - it's been getting up there with the wedding and vacation searches, mustn't let it continue to get out of hand (because holy cow 45 minutes is SO much time - stupid rabbit hole!). 
9. Fix. That. Posture. SERIOUSLY. Quasimodo over here needs to get it together.
10. Hate a bit less: Overall, I'm a generally nice and happy person but... I love talking / thinking smack. It's so invigorating. But, there's enough hate in the world, so I need to focus less on being judgey and more on being positive / ignoring shit I'd normally spend time judging. It's just a waste of my time and efforts on things that just don't matter.**
11. Cut the noise : Speaking of hating less... I Marie Kondo'd my social media and unfollowed a bunch of people (that didn't spark joy - LOL). There are a lot more I need to get rid of, specifically people who just appall me with their behavior. It's like watching a train wreck though - I just can't look away. But I should.*** It would make me a happier person to not constantly be frustrated with the idiots of the world. 
12. Wardrobe wear-out : Started this January 1st. In an effort to see what I really still like to wear - I have to wear it all. Will be detailing this madness in a separate post. 
13. Help the others : Newly engaged? I've got you, boo! I've been doling out Gina's Engagement 101 wisdom by the bucket lately. Because, from what I've seen, all brides-to-be form a pretty badass lady gang. I've been so grateful for all the ones who've reached out, checked in, and helped me out, and I want to do everything I can to put that goodness back out into the world. Like Headmaster Zefron said, "We're all in this together." 
14. Spend more time with family : The one I was born into and the one I chose. Because time is precious and they deserve the best version of me that I can give.

There are a LOT of big changes coming this year. This will sound completely out of character, but: I've been grateful to have a fairly low-key start to 2019 (at least up to this point!). It's given my brain some time to reflect and my attitude some time to get over itself. Change isn't something we're necessarily hardwired to "like," but as a species we wouldn't have made it this far if we hadn't learned to adapt. Hoping some of my little plans above, my little roots, will keep me grounded in the year ahead. Hold strong, little roots! 

Time to take a bite out of 2019!

* IE NO I'm not getting a second job, or a side hustle, or any of that nonsense. I'm quite content just tightening the purse strings a wee bit and am nowhere near desperate enough to pump time into becoming a hustler. For all the "self care" pushing of 2018, there was likewise a shit ton of "hustle" attitude promoted. It was a vicious cycle of people stressing themselves to the point of needing to do actual self-care. So like, is everyone suppose to work fifty jobs, and "do what makes them passionate," and also take time for bubble baths? Kudos to those who attempt to balance all that but, no thanks. Not necessary for me right now. Plenty of other things to care about putting time towards. Already a wonder woman, I don't need to hustle just for hustling sake. And bubble baths stress me out more than anything. 
** Plus, I just feel so quick to anger lately, and frustrated so frequently. And my hating just feeds into that. I also read that it could likely just be a symptom of Depression - which is probably just a suburb of my Anxiety. But I'm not ready to move to the suburbs. I'm comfortable living downtown at the intersection of Panic Parkway and Stress Street, just around the corner from Eagerness Ave - where I curb stomped serenity back in '05 and never looked back. 
*** And honestly - what kind of psycho actually likes watching train wrecks?? Like, I should feel bad about feeding views towards this nonsense. But I guess social media is like Nascar - people only watch for the carnage and to have the loud noise distract them from their own thoughts.

I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

... love me some planning!

With ABBA's greatest hits on repeat, the wedding planning has been cruising right along. Depending who you ask, we're drastically behind or doing just fine. According to my meticulous spreadsheets, we're rockstars and the naysayers are officially off the guest list. Since most else in life has been taking a back seat during all this, figured some update to prove I'm alive and that we're making progress wouldn't go amiss. So, here's some stuff that's gone down on the planning front since the engagement, and a bit of a follow up to some of those fabulously half-assed answers from November.

• We have a date! And it's less than a year out from the day we got engaged - no pressure! By the end of September 2019, we'll be oh so officially husband and wife. We're pumped to have locked in a fall slot. Our logic: summer would be way to sweaty for me, winter could cause travel issues, and spring was too risky for the dreaded "rain on your wedding day" that Alanis Morissette ironically warned against (plus I didn't want to wait til 2020, to be honest). Added bonus: our date comes with a built in theme song, so we'll never forget our anniversary!
• We have a venue! We basically picked a mansion by the lake. Because, why not? Added bonus: we get it for the entire day, which means I will be lounging about the place in my PJs and pretending it's my house all morning.
• We have a photographer and a DJ! After buckets of research, we signed some legit looking documents and parted ways with a few more deposits. We've got a wizard set to go behind the lens, a nerdy crew for the jams, and all the uplighting you can handle (because I insisted). Added bonus: we also managed to finagle some discounts! Holla!
• I have the dress! Speaking of discounts, holy shit did I get a deal on the dress. I had been researching and pinning, and just went to go check out a shop with my mom, very casually, with no intent of even trying a dress on, but the woman at the shop was so chill and before I knew it, I I was buying my dress! Added bonus: originally, the dress was almost two grand, and I got it for $400! (As a midwest gal, the glamour of the deal is almost as important as the glamour of the dress!!) It just will need a little bit of alteration (adding a bustle, tightening up the bust - but else it's almost my size as is!) and wham, bam, thank you ma'am! 
• We have a color scheme! And yes, I caved and made an effin' Pinterest board of it (DM for link - because I know everyone has just been holding their breath! lol). 
• Some things are still in the works:
• We have a tentative plan for officiant, guest list, and wedding party, just need to do some communicating on all that. 
• Hotels, the website, and all date saving / invitation type things are still being tinkered with.  
• I have about fifty different game plans for the DIY chuppah I'm going to build. Chuppah begets centerpieces, so once I nail that down, I can properly plot tables out.
• I've got a shady scheme going currently for florals and cake - should it all go to plan, will post about that some day. 

Wisconsin: it's where our love story started, so it's where we're getting married!

Important things I've learned:

1. Haggle. It's expected. Worst case scenario? You don't get a discount and pay what you planned to pay anyways. Else, many aspects can be customized to save cash moneys. 
2. Meltdowns. They happen. Don't try to be tough, just let that shit out and move along. That's how you keep them as mini, bite-sized anxiety attacks ... instead of  family-sized. 
3. Wedding Expos are a circus, in hell. If you attend, have a game plan. Be aggressive and hit up the bar immediately. Bring address labels with your name, email and wedding date/venue on them so you don't have to fill out a million little slips to enter into drawings - because that's why you're there. Drawings. And cake samples. The rest is just fluff. (I could do an entire post on the nightmare that was the one expo I attended - if anyone wants to hear that saga, let me know!)
4. Kindred. There's a lot of other brides-to-be out there. Band together, ladies! Because the war stories are great, and it's nice to compare notes. (There's also a lot of ladies who are wived up already, who have the value of hindsight to help calm any worries.)
5. Make it rain. Money means nothing anymore. The wonderfully foolish amount of cash thrown at weddings is a fun little game of trying to spend less. All you can do is just remember your budget, and make a plan for bringing in extra dough if you find yourself wanting to go over. (In the beau's case, he works overtime to make more - in my case, I spend less the save more.) 
6. No monsters here. Putting your foot down does not make you a bridezilla. (She who is in charge of planning, gets to have final say on plans.) Feeling stressed does not make you a terror. This is a major life change, and that sort of metamorphosis isn't always pretty, but in the end you come out a butterfly - so it's all good. 

The best thing about all this? The beau hasn't been scared away by all the planning. Now that the big boxes are checked, we're just getting excited about all the little details we'll get to have for what's going to be a wonderful day. One wonderful day, one perfect point in time, to kick off what will be a wonderful lifetime. Sure, we'll kick it off with a little less cash in our pockets, but with just as much love in our hearts. (Cheesy enough for y'all?)