Cast off the Shackles of Yesterday

Here it is, a moment almost eight years in the making:
I am now officially debt free!

Kickin' off those financial chains (that have become an unfortunate fashion statement of my generation) and running forward toward the future! It took just shy of eight years, but my student loans and car loan are now fully paid, and I feel $45k+ lighter (ouch, my soul). Just in time for my personal goal of breaking free before my 30th! (Can I get a "fuck yeah"??)

BONJOUR! Welcome to your debt free life!

When it comes to debt, there are often feelings of "being behind" or comparing against others. But really, this isn't a race in which we compete against one another. It's a race for all of us to get to the other side as soon as we can. A struggle against the "man" and a bitchin' awful burden that we all need to help push each other through. AND a race we need to then convince each other to stay out of and never run again, so as not to have a Sisyphean debt situation that haunts us til we're old and crotchety. (Because interest rates make people crotchety!)

So, while some of these may be obvious, I've had enough friends who have said, exhausted, "I can't wait til I get there" that I've compiled a list of things I did over the years to chip away at that mountain. Some being things I wish I'd have always done - so that I could've paid off my shit even sooner. These aren't financial wizardry, but hey, whatever gets the job done!

• Spend like you're as poor as you were that first summer : When I first moved down to Milwaukee, I was making $30k a year and working 50+ hour weeks (#salaried). My student loans had kicked in in full force and I had long since burned through any savings over the years (from trying to pay for uni upfront). I was pretty damn poor. And... it was a fantastically fun summer. I had a good time, and no money. Baseline. I know that I can live on a little, and that means a lot. They always say to not ramp up your living expenses too much as you make more money over the years, and then you can save more. It's true. 
• Keep pushing : Speaking of that first job.... OH my goodness, negotiate!! If I had a time machine, I'd kill Hitler, hug my grandma, and tell my 22 year old self to not be such a weak tit pansy and negotiate on that first salary. Know your worth and push to get paid what you deserve. Because over time, you'll make percentage raises. And when you get a pay raise on dirt, you just get slightly more dirt. (And this isn't Waterworld.) Keep fighting for more. 
• Work smarter, not harder : Pay off your debt with the highest interest rates first. Period. If you have credit card debt, then you better be tossing every spare dime you have at that shit, because the APR will murder you in your sleep if you don't. 
• Make it work for you : If you do have to pay using credit, get a card that gives you some sort of perk. Whatever your fancy is: airline miles, cash back, etc.* AS LONG AS YOU PAY IT OFF RIGHT AWAY, it can help you save in other ways.
• Know when to hold 'em : IE know what you're willing to splurge on and what you're not. Gas money to go see family? 100% yes. A nicer pillow for my creaky neck (#cuzim90)? Yes, or I'll die -  and the pillow will save a chiropractor bill. That root canal? Well damn, sure. Getting my nails done? Ha, not unless you mean getting some polish from the dollar store and doing them myself. Getting a soda at dinner? Yeah, I could buy a whole liter for that same price. AKA some things are worth your money, and some things are just fluff that you can do without. I mean, I went without internet for three years in my twenties (no smartphone either, I went to the library). So. Much. Savings.  
• Buy thrifty : Thrift stores forever! For furniture, tchotchkes and literally 95% of my clothes. Especially in my early twenties, I owned very few things that weren't on their second life. (I had never spent more than $20 on a pair of pants until I was 28.) If you hate the idea of pre-owned goods: A) good luck in a post-apocalyptic future state and B) then at least get a bargain! Outlet stores and sales seasons for bargain goods. And haggle for everything else. (Did you know that some dentists will give you a discount if you pay in cash? Don't ask me how I know that. Just know that it can be worth it to ask them.)
• Save on housing : you don't have to have that fancy apartment with in-unit laundry right away. You can live in a cheap (but safe) "shithole" for a bit, or at least do without some luxuries to save some moola.
• Be thrifty : Have the same amount of fun, but spend less. 
• Hit up happy hour instead of buying drinks or food full price. And always, always have leftovers.** 
• Have a water between every drink on a night out to save your head and your wallet the hangover. 
• If you're making a meal, stretch it out - add more noodles to that sauce, tag on some bread so you get filled up faster and eat less of the more expensive stuff, don't always have meat with every meal, etc.*** Buy fruit in season, buy in bulk for the rest, and freeze what you can. That includes buying snacks in bulk and then putting them into your own little baggies (like a drug dealer - of Teddy Grahams). 
• Go to free local events. 
• Travel on foot instead of Ubering. 
• Make your own damn coffee at home. 
• Fix things instead of buying new things. DIY some shit. 
• You don't have to pay for a gym - there are plenty of free videos online.
• Laundry can be skimped a bit - change into lounge clothes as soon as you get home from work and that blazer can be worn again! Also, air dry as much stuff as you can.
• Unplug shit and shut off lights. Seriously, it does add up. And #SaveThePlanet.****
• Keep the beater car as long as you can : Not having a car loan is the best. It lets you pay off other stuff faster. Don't feel bad if you have a beater car. If it's safe and it runs, hold onto it. Even if the tape deck is busted. 
• Vacation cheaply : Don't nix travel, just be careful about it.
• Visit someone you know and can crash with. Then you can save SO much, and, bonus, you get to see people you care about. (Thank you friends, for your kindness and your couches over the years!) 
• If it's cheaper to drive/train/bus than to fly, give that a go. 
• Instead of eating out on your trip every meal, hop to a grocery store and make some sandwiches or grab some cereal. 
• Try a "staycation" and go someone closer to home - odds are there are some really cool places within a few hours of where you are, and day trips mean you get to sleep in your own bed at night! 
• If you're lucky enough to travel for work, piggy back a few days off the end of a work trip to take time for yourself to enjoy. 
• Buddy. System. Travelling together means splitting costs as well! 
• Ask for practical gifts : My favorite Christmas gifts for the last ten years: contact solution and Nyquil. These are expensive necessities that Santa brings me to save me money. Thanks, Santa!
• Keep chipping : Every little bit really does help. Holiday bonus? Birthday card cash from grandma? Random money you found in your books while moving? (Yeah, I have some depression era tendencies of not trusting banks. Fight me.) Just push it all towards that principal, man.  

So... hate the idea of budgeting? Yeah. We all do. Just, be conscious of your spending. Make little changes that help you chip away without feeling like you're deprived. And then, deprive yourself from time to time to ramp up the pay off. It's a tough fight but, you know what they say.... love, is a battlefield. And we love having things (like a college education and a car that runs in all the gears). So sometimes we need to take on debt and then fight it, to get the junk we love. The point is, that we all keep fighting, and that we make it to the other side. Because, man oh man, does that other side feel fantastic! 

I did it! Cheers to victory and a debt free future!

* I have a Gap card. It gives me Gap cash to spend at Gap, Old Navy, Banana Republic or Athleta. And I frickin' love it. Is it an "adult" choice? Probably not. But I've gotten almost $1000 in savings on clothes since I got it. What does that look like? $600 in gap cash and $400 worth of extra savings from being a card holder. That free card cash has bought me jeans, work outfits, swimsuits, a full suit for the beau, baby shower clothes, Christmas presents for my family, etc. Plus, since I get that shopping bug, what's better than FREE clothes??

** You know where I first became a "regular" in Milwaukee? The Bees.... As in, the Applebee's. Because it was walking distance from my apartment (no taxi fare or DUI ticket fee). They had a 2 for $20 dinner special where I could eat an app and a dessert with a friend and then take my full main meal home for leftovers. Add on a $2 long island (or two). And boom, I've spent less than $15 for dinner and drinks with a friend PLUS two meals worth of leftovers. I have no regrets about those nights at the Bees, and neither does my wallet. 

*** When I studied abroad, I spent every dime on travel. When it was a regular week at uni though, I ate like a weird homeless person. I'd haggle for potatoes and carrots from the gypsies at the market on Sunday, pick up a pack of 80 euro cent "hot dogs" from Li'dl (the Aldi's of France), buy a few baguettes and some wine, a box of noodles and some butter. My total cost for food for the week would be around 10 euros (a little over $15 at the time). Again, baseline. I know I can survive off that and not die of scurvy - so I can eat on the cheap if needed and make something out of nothing. I also lost a lot of weight. So. Bonus.
**** Also, you know where you can charge that cell phone for "free"? Pretty much anywhere but your home. The library. The coffee shop. The office. Those places all have a much bigger budget for their electric bill than you do probably... Just saying. 

Thanks, Mom

Moms are a special breed of badass. Not all mothers are the traditional kind, who've pushed a watermelon out of their vagina, some are ones who came into the role by other circumstances. The one thing all moms have in common: their unyielding (and often terrifying) love for their children and the fact that those children made them a little insane over the years.

And that, is why we love them. Because they love us, and they're just a bit unhinged from all the torture we put them through over the years. These are the women who were responsible for molding us into the people we became. And that just explains so much about each of us.

Stand by your ma.

As a quick little ode to the woman who bore me, I wanted to compile a list of some of the things she's taught me over the years....

• How not to cut bangs - because they shouldn't start at the back of the head (see my school photos from grades 1 through 4).
• You should never shower during a lightning storm, you might get zapped. (Sorry, ma, I did this just last night. Still alive.)
• "You've gotta suffer to be beautiful" - she said, combing endless knots out of my hair.
• Old country music is the best country music - get a buck for the box, put on "A White Sport Coat and a Pink Carnation," and see who your friends really are. Oldies, in general, are the way to go.
• If it starts raining while you’re mowing lawn, just kick it into rabbit gear and beeline for the garage (after you finish that last strip in the front of course). 
• How to pack your whole world into the trunk of a car. Seriously. She's a wizard at that shit. Must be because she's so good at puzzles in general. 
• I should always be thankful I didn’t have three brothers.
• Anything crazy thing I ever have done, probably pales in comparison to just one summer of my mom's youth. She listens to the stories about my shenanigans, and I can just tell she's thinking, "I can do ya one better...." 
• Handsomeness level should always be measured against a young Elvis. He was just SO handsome.
• How to squirrel clean - because in our small hometown, someone is bound to show up at any moment, and the only time you'll have to tidy up is from the time you see them drive up the street to the time they make it to the door. No time for real cleaning, only time for hiding. Squirrel away anything sitting out and worry about finding those nuts again later. 
• How to dye and perm hair at home. When I think of the money saved by my family over the years, it's insane.
• If the need should arise, I have childbearing hips. THANKS for those, ma. LOVE having those Shannon hips and thighs. 
• How to drive while blowing your nose and eating a hot dog - and then deciding it's time to pass someone on that two-lane highway, as well. 
• You should always look good when you go to the grocery store in case you meet the man of your dreams AND always wear clean underwear on a trip in case you get in an accident and have to go to the hospital. This was a double whammy from both mom and grandma - to the point that I don't even recall who said it more often. But, to this day, I've only worn sweatpants to the grocery store like twice ever. So. Point made.
• Old margarine containers really do make the best Tupperware.
• "Our friends called!" You know that scene in The Jerk when he's really excited about the new phone book? My mom gets excited in the same way when she gets home and there are messages on the answering machine. Never underestimate the joy of a voicemail. (That is, to anyone over  40. The rest of us hate voicemails.)
• Big is a great movie, definitely worth buying. Even if you accidentally buy it three or four times...
• Always keep a baseball bat handy - a wooden one specifically. That is our family weapon of choice. My mom has one by her bedside. I keep one in the trunk of my car. Because one never knows.
• No matter where you are, or what kind of trouble you might be in, she is always just a phone call away. Family isn't here to judge when you need help, and it's better to call than to struggle alone.

My ma has also taught me how to laugh long and loud. And, even though she's not one to cry during movies (and will always turn and go "ARE YOU CRYING??" just to call you out), she has no hesitation in laughing til the tears start flowing. I remember sitting at my college summer orientation, watching a comedy sketch with my mom by my side. She and I were both laughing so hard that we had started sobbing. With tears streaming down my face I sputtered, "MOM, quit making me laugh! Everyone is going to wonder why we're crying and... and I won't have any friends!!" At which point, she of course started cry-laughing harder. And as the stitch in my side grew and the looks from those seated near us became more alarmed, I knew that even if I didn't make a single friend (because I was that freak weeping girl), I'd always have one friend to laugh with. My mama.

Cheers to this woman, who gave me life and makes my heart smile.