Are you a stranger who I've never met, being introduced to me for the first time? You're getting a hug. I'm sorry, I'll try to shake your hand, proclaim that I'm a hugger, and then will move in quickly before you object. I'm from the midwest, and was literally born and raised this way. Not sharing some sort of embrace upon meeting is the equivalent of me cold-shouldering you. I want to wrap you into my arms and give a quick squeeze that says, "We're going to be friends. Whether you know it yet or not." Because we are. Because I've just literally brought you into my circle: my physical arm circle and my metaphorical acquaintance circle. Welcome, about-to-be-friend. I hope you like it here.
Are you a friend, family member, or someone who I share any sort of fellowship with and need to be greeted upon our reunion? Then gettttttttt on in here, and welcome back to my open arms! I've missed you when you were away. I don't care how long or short ago it was when we last met, seeing your face brings me immense joy, and I want to bring that joy-face by my face with a big old hug. It's like you never left.
But it's not just meeting and greeting. When someone I care about is anxious or sad, or feeling (emotional) pain, I am there to hug it the hell out. I will literally attempt to smother away sadness with my unyielding arms. A strong hold to let them know, we're safe, we're secure, this link here is unbreakable and we'll get through this shit together.
It's not just a straight forward traditional hugs either. I'm a diverse hugger. When I see that a friend that needs a rescue while out at the bar, I'll swoop in and hug-walk-dance them away from the situation. If it's a coworker or hey-meet-this-guy-I-just-started-dating greeting situation, it definitely calls for an ass-out hug. If it's my Uncle Norris, only a bear hug will do. And if you're taller than me? Well, you can bet I will awkwardly attempt to assert my dominance by being an arms-over hugger (to varying degrees of success). There is a hug for every situation.
Don't get me wrong though, I don't want to sound like I'm some sort of hug-slut here. I don't want to devalue my hugs by saying just any old person on the street gets one. I'm not the "free hugs" guy. But given the choice, I'll always pick hugs, not drugs. Always.
Sadly though, now is not a great time for we, the huggers of the world. Social distancing guidelines and a lack of seven-foot-long arms make hugging fairly obsolete in this new normal. Sure, many of us are lucky enough to have other members of our household that we're confined with, but rounding out week nine of isolation means that those who share a roof with us are probably exhausted from the clingy bombardment of hugs. (And for those living alone, the stuffing has basically been squeezed out of all stuffed animals - and possibly real pets - at this point.) We have a lot of hug love to give, and I'm sad to think how things will be for us on the other side of this.**
In a pandemic, hugs don't just spread happiness and share love, they might also spread the virus and share sickness. Hugs have become a bit more dangerous. People will likely be more leery of coming into such close and intimate contact going forward. But you know, maybe that means that hugs will just become even more special? They'll be a way of saying, "We both are healthy at this point, so we can share a joyful squeeze in celebration!" or "I care about you so much that hey, maybe I'm willing to risk it - fall into my potentially-contagious arms, friend!" Maybe the value of hugs will skyrocket. And maybe, if we're lucky, some day we'll have vaccines and cures for all the bad things, and hugs will go back to just being a gesture of welcome and comfort, and not a rolling of the plague dice.
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| Come here, ya big lug! |
* NOT a cuddler. Sorry, it is literally not in my nature. I've tried and I just can't. All you snugglers out there, just stay the eff off me, I'm not your kind.
** There are plenty of good changes that I hope come out of this new normal. As I'm also a TREE hugger, I hope that some of the positive environmental impacts of humans not being in a constant state of rampant consumerism remain after. And that we all have a much greater appreciation for the outdoors and the beauty of nature. I hope the trees won't mind some big hugs once I'm unleashed on the world again (right now there are too many others out and about, I can't get safe-tree-hug-time).
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