It had been raining intermittently throughout the day. Sometimes light rain, sometimes a sudden downpour, never consistent. The mood swings of Mother Nature played out, framed by the window I can see over my cube wall.
When quitting time arrived, however, the rain hit hurricane status. Forest Gump style, we're talking up-down-and-sideways rain. As I stood up from my cube and gazed out into the ominous darkness, I knew: no one was coming out of this dry.
At the door leading to the parking lot, several coworkers stood staring. Waiting for it to pass, they said. Ready to sprint during a lull. Codswallop, said I. One pointed out the large pooling areas of water, which I noted while quietly rolling one cuff on each pant leg. And then threw open the door and stepped out into the storm.
Seeing my daring, the coworkers all took charge of their own destiny and followed, recklessly, into the abyss. What they didn't wait to see is that five seconds into my purposeful stride, I was knee-deep in rushing water. Pushing forward, I realized the sewer drains in the parking lot were creating a current vortex that was impossible to avoid. The howl of the wind and the cries of my coworkers intermingled as shouts of, "You led us astray!" and "Damnit, Gina!" flew between the raindrops. I let out a shrieking, "I'm filled with regret!!" so they would all know that I cared - but that it was every man for themselves and I didn't give two hoots about anyone but me during this mad dash.
Sopping wet, I made it to my safe haven: the car.
In the car, on the road. Rush hour: cluster. Rush hour during a storm: double cluster. Two lanes stopped at a stop light. The left lane: filled with people who want to go straight, but are stuck behind the front two cars who just put their blinkers on to turn left. The right lane: technnnnicallllly a bike lane, filled with the a-holes who saw the blinkers flip on and zipped over to the right to go around the left turners who will be waiting the entire light, only to not end up turning left. (But who would be biking in the rain anyway, amiright?!)
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| Danger Zone, full blast, white knuckling it. |
Wipers on full blast, I still almost didn't see it happen, but I could definitely hear it. Just before the light turned green, a huge gushing POP noise, the sound of metal on metal, as the sewer cover SHOT up and logged itself (who knows how) between the wheel well of the van in front of me and the gutter. The vehicle couldn't move.
The left laners shot past, laughing at how karma came back to bite the right lane asshats. I just sat, watching the scene play out. Two men who had been hiding out under a tree near the intersection (trapped in the storm) had seen what happened and rushed in to aid. Soon they were standing in two feet of gushing water, trying to dislodge the sewer cover. Drenched, they succeeded and the woman in the van sped off. These hero men then managed to get the cover back onto the sewer and sloshed their way back from whence they came. We all proceeded.
After an obnoxiously long, hydroplaning commute, I arrived to my own parking lot. Already soaked through, I gave myself a hot second to regroup and then bounded back out into the rain. My slow, silent stride through the downpour turned into a shit grin and an uncontrollable laugh as I realized that every car driving by (while waiting to cross the road) was probably looking at me, a wet rat in a blazer, and chuckling. So I laughed with them, and smiled the rest of the walk to my apartment, finally collapsing through the front door, in stitches.
Standing there were several people. Waiting for the rain to pass. Ready to sprint during a lull. As I burst through the doors, chortling, the by-standers looked me over, exchanging semi-alarmed looks. One pointedly commented "Damn, that sucks." To which I just smiled and said, "Better to enjoy the storm than to wait forever."
Seize the day, bitches. Even the rainy ones.
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| Wet rats of a feather, flock together... and then spread bubonic plague! |
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