This Provincial Life

Headline: 90s Children Rejoice as Disney Machine Churns Out Live-action Versions of Film Faves
Subtitle: As adults, can no longer ignore dark undertones

Don't get me wrong, the new live-action Beauty and the Beast is stunning. Perfect casting, great costuming, more CGI than you can shake a stick at. Classic musical numbers intermingle with this tale as old as time, and we're all drinking the kool-aid. Take my money, just take it. I'm more than happy to pay for a ticket (is like a train ticket, next stop: my youth!) and let you wring my emotions out of me for a few hours, Disney.

But, let's pause for a second here. While Beauty and the Beast was of course one of my ultimate childhood obsessions (I literally learned French and to this day am enamored over beautiful libraries), watching it through an adult lens brings a different perspective.

Setting aside some of the backstory additives in the new version (as I don't want to spoil - but like, spoiler alert, there's plague involved - WTFuck), there's a lot of things to be frustrated by.*

1. What's a gal got to do to get a little adventure around here? Ah yes, be taken prisoner and develop Stockholm syndrome. Typical.
2. "Little town, it's a quiet village." Only it's not quiet at all. The small town is abuzz with gossip and nosy people with nothing better to do than start a rumor, ruin a life, or somehow further invade the privacy of their neighbors. Small town, small mindset. The portrayal in the "Bonjour" number reminds me painfully of grocery shopping in my hometown. Can it be a good thing? Yes, people know you and want to look out for you. Can it be awful? Yes, especially if you're the "peculiar" one like in this scenario. Then it can be a terrifyingly lonely life. 
3. Who is supplying the fresh food to this hidden, isolate magic castle? And does Belle even get to take a bite to eat during the "Be Our Guest" spectacle? Girl is starved and all she gets is a finger dollop of the grey stuff??
4. "It's not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas... and thinking." HOW dreadful! Gaston literally is the patriarchy and the villagers are totally on board. Belle is ostracized for her intelligence and for wanting to lead a life beyond just that of a "little wife." The reason Belle is a good heroine is because she spends the whole movie trying to resist. You smash that patriarchy, girl! 
5. Speaking of Gaston, oh, I could go on for hours. He's labelled a "Disney Villain" for a reason, but his behavior isn't that uncommon, unfortunately. Everyday villainy occurs when gender role expectations are used to limit people.... Ladies should be thrilled to become wives. Burly men hunt and bring home food for said little wives to prepare meals for the children that they'll breed and raise. Manly men should have biceps to spare, ladies shouldn't have their nose stuck in a book.... Ugh ugh ugh. 



Let's take the muscle away from the patriarchy, shall we?

6. Doesn't a royal family typically lead the government? When the Prince and co. all just turned into creatures and were magically forgotten by everyone, was there a new government that rose up in their place to rule the kingdom? Or is it just lawlessness and lynch mobs now... oh wait... 
7. Mob mentality. There's a beast that we don't know anything about, but he looks different than us and that is scary. So grab the torches. Let's go burn this mother down. Sound archaic and silly? Well, it's just a more brutal, flaming version of building a wall really.
8. Toxic friendships. Again, Gaston is literally the worst. His bad bromance with LeFou is awful. He is domineering and treats his "friend" like shit, intimidating him into supporting his brutish antics. They try to force a woman into a marriage she doesn't want, lock up an old man, lead a riot, and overall just suck. What kind of man might LeFou be if he weren't caught up in this toxic relationship? Let this be a lesson to us all: dump the toxicity before it poisons you to death.
9. The overall premise of the curse. The castle has been under the spell for a decade by the time Belle and Beast start up their little tryst. So Beast was just a child when a creepy old woman showed up on his doorstep. A child. Not letting a stranger into the house. And we punish him for that?? I wouldn't let a stranger creepy hag into my home either, and I'm a grown ass woman. Also, why was a prince answering the door in the first place? He clearly has a whole castle full of servants. I bet Mrs. Potts would've given the old lady some tea and tucked her into bed with a kiss on her warted forehead, and then none of them would've been in this mess in the first place.
10. When the last petal falls: their humanity is gone. So, effectively, the enchantress condemns an entire castle full of people to DIE. Right now, they're running around all animated, living it up as teapots and snarky old clocks, but once that rose is petal-less, Beast becomes a beast forever, and the servants stop being lively and just become inanimate objects. They are all no longer human. The rose is a death sentence at the end of a long imprisonment for a minute crime. The justice system is totally effed when you let a pissed off enchantress (who likes to stalk around in stormy weather pretending to be an old hag??) act as both judge and executioner.  
11. Crazy old Maurice. Yeah, being an eccentric does not a lunatic make. Clearly this was set in an older time, but the fact that mental illness is still fairly taboo in this day in age is maddening. At least now we don't cart people off to terrifying facilities when they're different. 
12. Falling in love. Such an abstract concept shouldn't be put on a timer. Screw you, rose petals. Beast has been isolated with only servants as companions for years (and it wouldn't be appropriate for him to be on a personal level with them really, but, I mean, when you're cursed, rules of social hierarchy be damned). How is he supposed to be a Romeo when he lacks basic human interaction? Clearly that library wasn't stuffed with romance novels, because he's about as suave as an actual candlestick. And if he was learning how to be romantic from the talking candlestick, Lumière, then he believes romance is sneaking around and being a bit rapey with the maids. Also, he was a child when the curse was placed. So he spent all of puberty as a beast. I mean, didn't we all (amiright?!), but consider that self-confidence shot to shit. 
13. If almost all the objects in the castle are former servants - who got the short straw and became a chamber pot?
14. That magic mirror. When Belle shows up in town like, "Hey everyone, see, my dad's not a nutter, here's the beast right here in this magic mirror!" Um, lock that bitch up as a witch. If the townspeople are afraid of a beast, but not an enchantress, well, then clearly they've never rejected an old hag with a rose and suffered the consequences before.

But I digress... The new movie is fantastic. The old film is still a quintessential Disney classic. Belle still has me convinced that even we pale brunettes can pull off yellow in the right context. I should make a point to learn how to ballroom dance, just in case the need should arise. AND it's time to go stick my nose in a book and plan an adventure in the great wide somewhere. Cheers!



* It's not necessarily that the movie itself frustrates me, but that people and society are frustrating, even if they're in cartoon/movie form.
** Overall Note: none of this is new, I realize. We've been discussing the original film for over 25 years now. But with a fresh take on it, all the old thoughts were stirred up again. Wanted to keep this post spoiler-free, BUT if you wanna chat new BatB - like how they cut three of my fave scenes and how the additional back story stuff was just a device to punch my heart - I'd love to!