No, thank you.

Time to let you in on a little pet peeve: I hate it when people try to change my mind about something. 

Sure, if I'm being unreasonable, or am not understanding the bigger picture, explain away. Tell my why I'm wrong, or making an incomplete decision. Give me a logical explanation and let's move forward. Happy to be enlightened. Wonderful. 

But when it comes to an ordinary decision, with no right or wrong answer, then just calm down and don't make an argument where there doesn't need to be one. More than anything, this bothers me in the service industry. If I'm being indecisive or have questions, then yes, I most definitely want feedback and help decision making. Else, nope. Don't push your agenda on me.

A case study....

Walk into a bar with friends. Everyone is still perusing the beer menu. Bartender asks what we want. Since no one else is ready, I step up and say, completely clear and confident, "Brand old fashioned, sweet. Thanks." 

Bartender smiles, "Did you want just a regular one or our version?"

I repeat, "Regular. Just a regular brandy old fashioned, sweet. Thanks."

She continues, "Oh well have you ever had ours before? It's really good."

Strained smile, "I'm sure it is. But no thanks. Just a regular one."

Undeterred, "Trust me on this, it's great though...."

Knowing that it's her job to upsell, and that "their version" is probably ten bucks instead of six, I politely say, "Okay, what's in your version that makes it special? Explain it. Sell it to me." This is something I often say to people who are too pushy with their wares: sell it to me. If you're a great salesperson, and your pitch is solid, I'll often buy it just out of respect for the trade. I know that being salesy in a genuine way is tough. I let them do their best. 

My offer in this case though was disingenuous. I knew what I wanted and I didn't care what she had to say, I just was looking for something to punch a hole in. She jumped on it and started explaining. Some local brandy, something fancy about the bitters, and (since their specialty is beer) a raspberry beer of some sort. I cut her off, "Oh yeah, yep, I'm sure people love that. I don't drink beer though, so... That's right out. Just a regular brandy old fashioned, please. Sweet." And I turn to see if the beau had selected his beer. 

Brandy. Sweet. Not asking for your first born.

Bartender laughs, "Well I mean, you won't hardly know it's a beer. It's more like a splash of raspberry liquor in it kind of." My eyebrows disappeared up into my hairline (Elrond style), and my clearly inauthentic smile was plastered on. She continued, "Listen, I'll make it for you, and if you don't like it, I'll make you a different one."

At this point, the friends have selected their beers, and are waiting to order, and I'm so internally pissed about being forced into this decision that all I say is, "Fine." Then, to be polite, I excused myself to the restroom while the others ordered, so I wouldn't literally bore a hole through her head with my rage eyes. In the bathroom, I quietly bitched to my friend. It sounded so irrational that I was mad about something so silly, so I just got over it and we went to go sit.

She brings the drink to our table and says, "Let me know what you think." 

Forcing my smile once more, I say, "I'm sure it's lovely. Thanks." And she proceeds to stand there. Waiting for me to drink it. I stared into the glass, thinking maybe I should just like, spaz out and spill it everywhere/drop it. I looked at the hazy ripple of raspberry beer, discoloring my desired drink, tainting it. I chanted a little mantra of "not my drink" in my mind, and took a sip. "That's fine, thanks." 

Bartender proceeds to tell my friends that they'll have to tell her later what I really think. Ha, ha ha. All the chuckles. 

Hours later, one of my friends says, "So, did you like that drink?" 

My internal response: "I fucking hated it."

My actual response, something like: "It wasn't what I wanted." 

It's a little sad, that for some things my breaking point is so far past the line it should be. I can have infinite patience and never snap. Then, for something little like this, I get all bothered. Really, this was probably just a manifestation of my own worries. Feeling like I don't have control and am not certain how to get what I want out of life. Sometimes, you tell life what you want, and it comes back and says, "Why not this instead?" And you look at what it's offering and it's not your pick. You have to decide if you just accept it, or stand up for yourself. You don't have to be rude. But maybe a firm "no, thank you" will suffice...

Yes. Thank you. I'll have what I ordered.
I am a woman of my own mind, thankyaverymuch.