Clean Up, Aisle Six

Returned to the hardware store.

"Excuse me, what type of saw would I need to cut this board? A jig saw? Or would this reciprocating saw work?"
"Oh that reciprocating saw should work just fine."
"Lovely. And what is your return policy on saws?"
Winning smile, awkward pause.
"... As long as you have the receipt, you should be good."
"Wonderful. Thanks so much for your help."

I think you get the point...

Vindication